On rule breaking...

Nothing riles me up more than someone repeating some silly "words of wisdom" passed among people and repeated so often that people start to believe it. I remember being in junior high and being told and believing that if a guy wore pink that he was automatically gay. And if he had an earring in his right ear or did not pull his polo shirt collars up (haha, it was the '80s), then it was the kiss of death for his dating life if he actually did like girls.

The worst offenders are the fashion police. I can't tell you how bored I am of reading magazine articles about being "age appropriate." I suspect that many of them are written by either women who are twenty and do not want competition for men by cougars or they are written by women of a certain generation (you know, the ones that think helmet-head hair styles and pants suits are signs of appropriate fashion). Now, I'm not saying that people over 20 should wear micro mini skirts and Justin Bieber shirts with three-inch heels to work, but I gotta tell you, when someone says, "Oh, people over 40 shouldn't do X, Y, and Z," guess what it makes me want to do! Who made these rules? And even if these rules make sense with some or even most of the population, how is it that it fits every person at every time in every culture? Who decided that people shouldn't wear white after Labor Day?

Among a few "rules" that I find stupid:
1. Women of a certain age should cut their hair short. Well, you know what? I cut my hair short last year. Had nothing to do with age or wanting to fit in. If I wanted hair down to my butt, I would grow it to my butt, even if I were 60 years old. In fact, I am growing out a pixie now (although not to my butt) because you know what? If I don't have my particular haircut trimmed every three weeks, which I can't afford, it loses its edgy-artistic look and goes into middle-aged teacher look territory (HORROR!!!) and I've seen a few pictures of myself recently that scare me on that level and made me realize I am NOT going quietly down that road. Also, people have been ragging on or pitying my hair texture (very fine) for years and saying it has to be short or bobbed to look good and this makes me want to rebel all the more. Hair that is treated well, taken care of, treated like lace, not dyed and flat-ironed and given 80s perms will look beautiful no matter WHAT the texture.

2. If you're over 40, don't wear jeans that aren't Mom Jeans (you know, those high-waisted jeans). WHO MAKES THESE RULES? I will wear whatever clothes I want to. Turns out, I crave comfort a lot more than I crave any kind of fashion. I hate capris, which means I lose my woman-over-40 card already. So I am hardly a good example to follow if you are looking to look hot while going out. But still. If you tell me I can't, then I probably will.

3. Don't let your hair go gray. Hey, I'm PRO-not letting hair go gray, so I actually agree with this rule. I think gray hair looks bad on almost anyone under 85. But if you can rock it or even if you WANT to rock it, GO for it. Don't let anyone guilt you into not feeling comfortable with yourself. If YOU like what you see in the mirror every day, that's what's important, not rules imposed by judgmental people and 25-year-old fashionistas.

4. Don''t go trendy. I've personally never had a desire to go trendy. Most trends seem stupid to me. But I felt like that in high school, too. Again, though, if I wanted to dress trendy, I'd do it. I don't even care if a certain judgmental portion of the population thinks it looks ridiculous. Recently I saw an episode of Law and Order that featured a woman in her 40s who had an absolutely UGLY and ridiculous sense of style, as in over the top trendy. While I was pretty horrified by her choice of clothes, at the same time, I was admiring of the character and thinking about how dressing like that gave her confidence and pizzazz and set her apart from the hordes of other 40+ women trying to do what all the magazines tell them to do.

Life is short. Follow your joy. If your happiness means dressing like a clown and juggling in front of Walmart every day wearing low-slung jeans, gray hair down to your butt, and sporting white after Labor Day? GO FOR IT and enjoy. You have my permission.

Now I need to go break some writing rules. I might even change point of view in the middle of a page. The horror!